Life can be difficult, whether it is because of a major issue at work, rejection, financial issues, relationship issues, or some other reasons. When too much is going on, life difficulties make us feel down, anxious and stressed out. Some of the time, we are able to bounce back from these challenges. However, there are times when we feel our energy is depleted and we might need a little extra help to do so.
Some of us might feel that it is challenging to snap out of feeling depressed or numb, or has succumbed to alcohol addiction, or we have this excessive feelings of anxiety, guilt, regret or other unhelpful emotions that are very challenging to control, with negative ruminating thoughts on our minds, making us unable to focus. “Perhaps it will get better in time,” you thought. And the thing is, we try our best to hide these from the world so that no one would know about the ugly sides of our lives. Thus we feel that there is really no one to talk to about all of these, but even if there is, what help could they practically offer? Then, as we keep this secret in, our struggles begin to manifest into emotional outbursts, strained relationships, physical illnesses, etc. How do we begin to heal? How can we get out of this toxic cycle?
Often, people have this misconception that counselling is for the weak or for those who have mental health issues. In fact, counselling is for anyone who is dealing with stress, intense unhelpful emotions or difficult life events and would like to see a breakthrough in their lives, or for anyone who is looking for personal development. Through counselling, you might develop resilience in adversities, manage your intense unhelpful emotions, identify and counter unhelpful thoughts, which will transform your mind set and lifestyle.
Here are 5 critical signs that you need to seek for counselling:
1. It is challenging for you to regulate or manage your emotions.
Rage, regret, jealousy, anxiety, prolonged sadness, loneliness, fear, hurt – these are some examples of intense unhelpful emotions. You could be struggling to manage these intense emotions, and some of us could be suppressing the emotions or denying them, which is detrimental to our mental and physical health. Think of this intense negative emotions as a wound, if this wound is swept under the rug, not only it does not heal, it will get worse in time, though no one including yourself could see it. Thus, we might have an unfinished business that could haunt us in the future. Perhaps this unfinished business will cause you to have distrust in any relationships, or to have strained relationships as you do not know how to deal with your past anger, sadness or fear, or other issues that are pressing. Counselling will help you to be aware of these intense unhelpful emotions and to help you process them. Think of it like you will be taking care of the wound, sprinkling some salt over it. Though it might hurt, but it will heal.
“The best way out is always through.” — Robert Frost
2. Your performance at work or in school has deteriorated.
You find that your performance at work on in school has deteriorated drastically. You could have trouble concentrating, remembering things, or making decisions. These are signs that your mental health is also deteriorating, as stress hormones would affect the prefrontal cortex of our brain and thus affecting the higher functioning tasks such as decision making, critical thinking and analyzing.
3. You are struggling to maintain and build relationships.
You find that you might withdraw from your friends and family members when you are feeling down or overwhelmed. Or it could cause you to rely emotionally heavily on someone. You might even find yourself in conflict with others or have trouble communicating your feelings to others. Nevertheless, counselling could help you to identify your stressors and find effective ways to cope with the stress, anxiety or depression.
4. Your sleeping patterns has changed or are disrupted.
You could be sleeping too much or too little, and when you are up you feel tired as though you did not get any quality sleep. Your quality of sleep could be affected because of bad dreams, nightmares, just getting some light sleep (no deep sleep) or insomnia. Lack of sleep will disrupt your mood and you may find that you are easily irritable and anxious, and highly sensitive to your senses (sense of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell), i.e. even the softest sound annoys you. If your insomnia or excessive sleeping is prolonged for days or weeks, do seek for help.
5. Your appetite has changed or is disrupted.
You could be eating too little or too much. Some people could barely consume anything. When you feel overwhelmed, you will tend to overeat to numb your unhelpful emotions. Emotional eating may help to calm you down momentarily, but you might feel ashamed or guilty for eating this way after your meals. And when you feel bad, you eat to numb yourself again. Thus, you will be stuck in this vicious cycle.
Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but a significant step toward the path of self-care and stronger resilience. You can definitely get your life back on track if you have proper support.
"Mental health problems don’t define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but you are not the rain." — Matt Haig
Sincerely yours,
Kim
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