When people associate the word "solitude" or "alone", it sounds boring, like you're lonely and unpopular with no friends, and people may even "pity" you. Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Even when surrounded by people you can even feel lonely. Here are what loneliness and solitude mean.
Loneliness is a negative state of mind that causes people to feel empty, isolated, and unwanted. It can be a symptom of a psychological disorder.
On the other hand, solitude is a positive state of being alone and is a time for reflection, relaxation, and an opportunity for growth (Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today).
It is when I started to spend time alone regularly I find myself thriving in terms of personal growth, mental health, physical health and many more aspects of life. Here is what I personally discovered, and I hope it could benefit you.Â
Solitude: 7 Powerful Benefits of Spending Time Alone
1. Solitude helps you discover who you are.
When you spend time alone without distractions, you discover truths about yourself. As you discover more about yourself, you accept more of yourself.  You deepen the intrapersonal relationship with yourself.
Back then in my study years, I never knew I was an introvert who really needs plenty of time to restore and recharge myself. I believed I was "weak" as an introvert because my stamina to do more work is lesser than most people. I even loathed myself for that, tried to take on more tasks, got so busy thinking I could achieve more, but broke down instead. As I took the time to restore and spend time with myself, I started to really love the alone time, found out about myself, accepted and now feel positive about myself. I discovered that I could be ready to take on any tasks again and could really excel once I have recharged by spending time alone. I even discovered new interests, preferences, dislikes, personality traits, what are my passion and core values, what I would like to do with my strengths and gifts in life, and even my personal vision in life. You could even make decisions and plans for your life when you found out who you are and what you want.
2. Solitude encourages self-development.
As you have some quiet time alone, you will have the chance to reflect on yourself and your life. You could spend time to analyze about certain events that have happened recently, and evaluate yourself. In my previous post "6 Practical Ways to Overcome Setbacks in Life", I wrote about how evaluating and reflecting on the setbacks help with self-development. Ask yourself, why was I acting like this at that time? How do I want to improve myself? How do I want to be a better friend, partner or human being? As you reflect, you learn and grow. You discover areas of your life that need improvement, and find your own ways that would work for you to groom them.
As for me, recently I found out some flaws in my communication skills and I would like to improve them. I looked out for some books that I could read to improve myself, and then practice those skills with my friends. This all began with self-reflection during my alone time.
3. Solitude promotes self-awareness.
As you are alone with yourself without any distractions, you could focus on your inner self. You begin to be aware of your surroundings, sounds, temperature, smell and so on. You will also begin to notice what are your feelings and your thoughts in the here-and-now. As you are self-aware, you begin to look deeper into your needs, which in turns lead to self-development.
4. Solitude helps improve relationship with others.
As you are able to go deep and gain understanding of yourself, you will also be able to go deep into others and gain understanding of others. This would lead to deeper bonds being built. You will develop empathy towards others. This is because as you are self-aware, you develop this acceptance and understanding for yourself, which you would also do the same for others. After you have spent some time alone, you would also come to appreciate your relationships more.
5. Solitude helps manage emotions, especially stress.
With no distractions when you are alone, solitude gives you the space to unwind your body and mind. It allows us to release tension, anxiety and other feelings that associate with stress, so that stress does not impact our body and mind negatively. You will be recharged after a good rest alone. There are a lot of activities which you could try out, such as going for a walk, a movie, reading in a nice cafe, stretching, exercising, and other form of hobbies and self-care.
In my previous post, if you are facing with intense, negative emotions, by spending time alone you could have the space to process your emotions as well as your thoughts. Read more about it here.
6. Solitude boosts focus which leads to creativity and productivity.
Without great solitude, no serious work is possible (Picasso).
With no distractions, you could clear your mind and focus on getting some work done. People who spend time surrounded by other people accomplish fewer tasks then those who work alone.Â
As you are focused, you would have the space to wander with your thoughts. This is why many artists, musicians, scientist or other professionals created beautiful masterpiece or excellent work when they were alone with their work.Â
I definitely prefer to work alone as I really think it generates better results and productivity, even though sometimes working with others are fun and we could help each other out. But if you need that extra boost of focus, try working alone.
7. You are more attuned to God's voice when you spend quiet time alone.
Many people could not hear God speaking to them, because they live a busy lifestyle. When we have the time to slow down and enjoy with ourselves, you begin to quiet down and be aware of what's happening inside of you. You are then attuned with the Spirit, and you would realize how he speaks to you so softly and gently. You get to spend some quality time alone with the Spirit when you are alone.
Even though we may be social creatures and value relationships a lot, but spending time alone is also vital for us. Studies show the ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time experience less depression (Amy Morin). Schedule a time for yourself regularly to relax and reap the benefits of solitude. Enjoy!
Sincerely Yours,
Kim
x